Summer 2011 Reflections

Over the past summer, in the midst of serving as an English youth pastor in PGC and preparing for marriage, I thank God for the opportunity to reflect upon life and ministry.  I ask many questions as an attempt of setting goals and planning for the future.

LORD, what should I do with the time you entrusted me with?

LORD, what should I do with the money and resources you entrusted me with?

LORD, how should I lead your people to grow deeper with you?

How does my activities contribute to growth physically, emotionally, and spiritually?

How does my activities help and bless the lives of the people I lead and serve?

Am I doing what I dove and loving what I do?

Am I investing my time with the right people?

Am I functioning in my strength zone?

Am I leading others to a higher level?

Am I taking care of today?

God, am I pleasing you?

You called me to be responsible, trust in you, faithful, take initiative, discipline, patience, courage, love, forgiveness, focus as a leader for your glory.  Your presence and authority is necessary in doing your work of making disciples.  I cannot do the work of reaching the lost without your power and your Spirit guiding me.  This goes the same with leading my future family and any other engagements.  You called me to be intentional in making disciples.

I believe in discipline.  I am to sleep before 12am and wake up at 7am.  I will discipline myself to an hour of prayer each day.  I am to work and labour towards the goals in PGC English.  I am to pray for the growth of the whole PGC.  Father, please guide me the way to generate income to meet the needs and be responsible to protect and care for my family.  I desire to work and build a strong marriage.

I am called to be a diligent minister. 

I need to repent of my sins of laziness, lust, not trusting in you, indifference to the suffering, greed, lack of desire for your direction, envy, pride…  I am called to witness for your Kingdom.  As a pastor, my role is to guide and make disciples who testify for you.  I dedicate 30 hours minimum of faithful labour to teach and equip brothers and sisters to become mature disciples.

I am not to let anyone look down because I am young but I am to set an example in speech, faith, life, and purity.  I am to be strong and courageous.  I am to be careful in obeying all the commands and not turn right or left from it.  I am convicted that you are with us.  You call me to persevere and this will lead to maturity.  When I lack wisdom, I can ask you boldly for it.  For anything I do, I am doing it for you.

Have I been asking the wrong questions?  I shouldn’t ask “God, why did you let this happen to me?”  Instead, I am to ask what are you trying to teach me?  What are you asking me to let go of?  I am called to die to my old self.  The true test of a man actually starts when he can no longer rely on what he’s used all his life.  I am made to depend on God.  The source of my real strength is from God.  Jesus’ strength is from God and guided by the Spirit within.  My strength and power comes from God and the Spirit from within.  What God thinks of me is what ultimately matters?  I am accepted by Him, and I am working and serving Him because of grace. 

A man must have a battle to fight, a mission to his life that transcends home and family.  There is a vision.  I have a cause greater than self-preservation.  Whenever I try to save my own life, I will lose it.  As a warrior, I have a service to a greater purpose than myself.

There are enemies to fight.  There is a traitor from within.  The flesh is to die.  The flesh is not me.  I am of the Spirit.  Sin is not my true nature.  I am a new creation in Christ who is called to be holy.  I am called to fight for integrity, purity, and stand up for what is right.  I know what my strengths are.  I am to stand up for the weak.  My strength is displayed in my weakness.  The world is a system that is built by our collective sins, they are false selves coming together to reward destroying each other.

Where does my own sense of security come from?

Knowledge, wife, # of people in my church, title, degree, position, money, wealth???

My security comes from being accepted by God as His child.

God you are my refuge.  I am called for evangelism and discipleship.  You redeemed me through my darkness.  I praise you for your love and guidance.  I praise you for your protection.  I praise you for your providence.  I praise you for your forgiveness.  I praise you for who you are!!!

God is present.  God is real.  God is my saviour.  God is dependable.  God is everything. 

A man after God’s heart is courageous and responsible.  He is willing to obey God, willing to serve, and willing to love and care for His family.  He sets the direction, provides protection, and makes provisions.

God, you are looking into my heart.  I am coming back to the heart of worship.  It’s all about you, all about you Jesus.  Worship and prayer is about knowing God deeper.  I am called to surround myself with people who closely resemble the character of Jesus for fellowship.  Spiritual wisdom is the fruit of consistent walk into God’s never ending glory.  I can share in God’s hope.  I am convicted that I am led by you.

What are my fears?  Inability to work and provide, inability to grow and lead others, inability to care and love, becoming weak physically, emotionally, and spiritually, unmotivated and directionless.  All my gifts and abilities come from you!!!

You say do not worry.  Be strong and courageous.  Do not let your hearts be troubled.  I praise you for being the saviour.  You are the truth, the way the life.  We shout out praises to you.  You have compassion to the needy and you called us to make disciples this way.  I realize others are hurting.  We are called to make a difference to help them.  God you are in the center of my life. 

I am to begin with God’s Word, then Prayer, then plan, then action!!!

Your will is for people to accept you as personal Lord and saviour.  Develop close and intimate relationship with you.  Grow and become mature disciples.  Witness and share Christ’s love to their friends. 

How to do so?  Pray for open doors, pray for your Spirit to work, and pray for my obedience to your guidance.  Everything is for your glory.  I am grateful for the live your bless me.  You are inspiring me to develop a philosophy of ministry.  Ministry is a means of your grace.  Success and fruitfulness is not dependent on my own effort and godliness.  I am called to hard work and discipline as guided by you.  My willingness to obey rest in the relationship with you.

As a pastor, I am called to grow in leadership, planning, teaching, and preaching.  I have to know my priorities.  I am to be content and plan for long term commitment.  How can I serve the teens and do what’s best for them?  I am to set goals and objectives for the small group leaders meeting and praise leader meeting.

What should I teach a new believer? Sin, repentance, obedience, hope in suffering, identity in Christ, Holy Spirit, personal testimony, and presence of God.  I am to encourage new believers to attend small group, intentionally create an environment for follow up and discipleship.  Let’s continue to pray.

What life gifts have you bless me with?  Public speaking, networking, leading, managing, negotiating, decision making…When I am at my best, what skills gives me the highest enjoyment?

I am called to trust in the LORD with all my heart, and lean not on my own understanding.  IN all my ways I will acknowledge you.  You will make my path straight.  God chose to accomplish what he wants to achieve through the obedience of His people.  I need to be empowered by the Spirit in order to complete the task.  I am willing to be used by Him for His glory.